Friday, May 27, 2011

At the ocean

Dear babies,

I'm sitting here with your grandma, watching the waves crash upon the shore in beautiful Cannon beach Oregon, the sun is shining on the waves and making them look like the color of sea glass. It is so amazing and beautiful. So many kids are playing on the beach. There were a few kids yesterday playing in the sand and flying kites, it made me dream of what it will be like with the two of you!
I know that we will do many things together and many traditions will be made. I have been thinking of them lately. Traditions that I have done all of my life and some that I would like to start with you. The ocean has always been a place that we have gone. So next summer over the 4th of July weekend you guys, daddy, grams,and papa will come down here! We will let you play and watch the waves and it will make us laugh with your 6 month old creepy crawly on the beach!!
I dream of the two of you as a boy and girl like this playing on the beach! It would be great to have you each so very different.
 Or two of you just alike sleeping soundly as the wave splash on the shore. As Mommy & Daddy or Mommy and Gransie, as we read a new book and take in some sun.
Other traditions that I would like us to do is celebrating your half birthdays, once a month for the rest of your lives we will do Sunday dinners. Every night we will try hard to eat at the table, no TV going so we can all have a chance to talk. On Christmas eve we will do it with Gramsie & Papa. Then in the morning we will make a big breakfast and take the time to enjoy it. It bothers me so much that it is such a rush and it goes by so fast that I want to savor every minute. 

Camping trips are a must in this family! We will celebrate your half birthdays! Oh there is so much more to celebrate and make traditions but I will keep writing them down on here so I don't forget! 

No matter what we will always be close, I learned how to be best friends with my child like I am with your Papa & Gramsie, it means the world to me to be as close to them as I am. There is nothing more that I want then the same relationship I have with them as I do with the two of you. You will be my children first but will always be able to come to me and tell me anything and I might not love what you are telling me I will always sit and listen.

Oh the fun things that we will do...I love you two so much!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Dear Babies, 

Well tomorrow marks three weeks that we did the transfer for you little ones. You are growing stronger everyday. We did two blood tests this week and you made it so Auntie Chrystal had high levels in her blood work meaning that we are having a the two of you. We will make sure that your both in there and you are both healthy. 

Tomorrow is your Daddy's and my 9th wedding anniversary. We have so much to celebrate with 9 years behind us and the gift of being your parents. We toasted to 9 years and the two of you!!

We really can't wait to hold you and get to spend all these wonderful moments with you forever. 

Love you 

Monday, May 16, 2011

TWINS???!!! REALLY????!!!???

Dear Babies G, 

Yes you read that right! We will be the proud parents of beautiful babies. I am hoping that we can have one of each. Two for the price of one. It is truly more important to have two very healthy babies. 

I had nightmares all night last night that they were going to call us and tell us that we were no longer pregnant, I tossed and turned all night and woke up looking at the phone just waiting. to see a missed call saying its over. 

Well we got the call that we have a healthy positive pregnancy. The numbers should normally be 100 ours are 350! Twins? I asked and she said yes! more then 99.9 percent. Oh baby! We have a second blood draw on Wednesday to see how high the levels are then. We are 6 weeks along today and we have a December 23rd due date!!!! Its a guess with twins but that is my best friend and sister Erin and her husband Carl's anniversary!  So that would be a good day and our first day at home could be Christmas? Wow! Now I am thinking they need Christmas-ie middle names? Holly, Noel, Carol, Chris??

Well I am so very thankful that I can get the chance to have both my babies made it!  It means that on their birthdays they get to watch them spark into this world. Not to many babies have that! 


Friday, May 13, 2011

A positive test!!!

Dear Baby G,

Today we got the green light that you are real. You are inside Auntie C's tummy. I ended my night with a text from Auntie with this picture last night.  I could hardly contain myself..... So this morning we got an email back from the clinic and this is the email we got back:

 You definitely are pregnant if you are having faint positive home PG tests. I cannot interpret if this is a healthy pregnancy or not so, you still need to have the blood pregnancy levels drawn on Monday 5/16 and Wednesday 5/18.

I will take it and no matter what my babies are healthy and happy and in a little less then 9 months you will be here. For those of you that don't know the IVF rule is in 10 days they are 6 weeks along. 
We are able to find out how many we are having on June 2nd :) That will be the next picture that we get to have of you! 

This is the 1000000000 test that came back as a yes!
We have two days left to wait for the blood draw to know if you are both doing okay. Then another one on the 18th.... waiting isn't the easiest thing for me to do but knowing that Auntie is really pregnant makes my heart burst! 

Love you little ones

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Babies are Transfered

Dear Baby G, 

Last Friday we went in for your transfer, of you babies!
WE jumped into the car and off we went, Daddy and I, Chrystal & Bon, Erin and Jeff.  We found a parking spot without a hitch this time. Now we just had a hard time paying through the new meter. What a pain in the rear. So here I was nervous already and we sit here playing with the money to feed the meter. 

After we rode up on ten floors to get there ( it did seem like it took 2 days to take that trip) Due to the fact that someone need to get off or get on from each floor. DROVE ME NUTS!

We got settled in the waiting area. The Transfer waiting area, Of course the more stressed out that I feel the louder I get, having to tell jokes and make everyone laugh.. So just because of that  I really thought that I was on a roll! 

The Doctors had told us that we could bring family and that they could watch the transfer from the other room, planning on that we had Uncle Jeff & Auntie Erin come with us as well. Uncle Jeff for Daddy and Auntie Erin for me! They couldn't go in because another family was also getting their babies transfered that day! Daddy and I got go in so we were happy! I would have kicked Uncle Bon if need be :) 

We sat in the room and we were told the entire time everything step by step.  Chrystal was a trooper holding her pee for almost two hours!!! Now we got to see the Spark with each transfer! It was amazing. Now no matter what I want both of you! On that screen were both my babies, my DNA, my heart, all of Daddy's DNA & his heart.  At that moment it was clear it might be a lot of work but at the end of this 9 months I hope and pray to God that I get to hold you both in my arms. 

Poor daddy's pocket book if you are both girls. :) Here is your first picture of the two of you! It made me cry and I have this picture on the fridge! The first of many things I will post on the fridge as a proud  mama!


Sunday, May 8, 2011

My first Mothers day!!! (waiting)

Dear Baby G, 

Today was Mothers day & it meant more today then it ever has. Before It was just another day, A day that I thanked my own Mom.
My mom and I are so close and I can't wait until the three of us or four of us are able to be close. To spend days like today together.  
I was so humbly & honestly surprised by all of the people that text me , emailed, or called me today. These people I have in my life that took the time out and who made it a point to reach out to me this Mother's Day. the sweetest card from the Hub's today made me cry & bust full of emotions on what my life is going to be like a year from now. He told me that his hearts greatest desire is finally happening by him having a baby with me. We are so amazingly in love, anyone that knows us or has seen us together knows we are soul mates. To raise a baby together will be amazing. 

I was able to spend the morning with Chrystal ( baby oven) As I sat there I got pretty choked up, because of her this time next year I will be able to hold my own baby or babies.  This isn't something that I ever thought would happen to Chris and I.   

It's crazy to believe that this will be my last Mother's Day spent lounging for quite a while & nothing makes me happier. It's also amazing what kind of new perspective I had today on the holiday as a whole.  Mothers are amazing people, you know it!  They do so much for us, and so much of who we are is taken from them.       

 I can't even begin to list all the sacrifices my own mom made for me growing up. For years she wore those awful mom jeans & a red sweatshirt, was known as Stacey's Mom or Franks Wife. My mom was able to be a second mom to most of my friends. Teaching me that as long as the two of us always talked to eachother we would be fine. 
Because of that I am just so, so blessed. Not everyone can say that their best friend is truly their Mom. My mom's relationship with her own mom was a little rocky and not a warm and close relationship. So when she raised me she made it so we would be close & best friends. I will do the same thing for my babies.  I can only hope to be a fraction of the mom she was for me. 

I love you.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Dear Baby G, 

I'm enjoy another nice warm and sunny day! I think this is the third one we have had this year. I know there are so many things that I am thankful for today it was for spending time in the sun. Ending the weekend with Family. This evening we went to Gpa and Nana Ryan's house. We had a fun family BBQ and got to spend time with your Aunties and Uncles.

We are all so excited for this week! This week is Transfer time! We have been waiting for this day for 6 months. Though these few months have gone by fast it felt like it was taking forever.  I keep myself and everyone around me busy so the wait for you wont seem to go so long. 

I have a few things in the works to keep me busy all summer! Tonight we have the little girl that I nanny over night, she makes me smile and  I wonder what life will be like when you are here. What things you will need and want in your day to day life that make you happy. I know your Daddy will work hard for us so that you are able to stay out of daycare and at home with me. Your daddy is my best friend and the hardest work man I know besides Papa Frank.  One thing I know is that I would rather clip coupons and not have the extras in life so that daddy wont be like Papa and have to work every holiday and all the birthdays Like papa did when I was growing up I think I had maybe 4 or 5 where he was off with us for my birthday. Maybe I just remember it that way.... maybe he really was home more often but do you really ever feel like you have had enough time with a parent that worked outside of the house? I don't think I did? Will you?

I feel so uneasy and my emotions run so high and low lately, I am not looking forward to waiting to hear the news on the 16th. I am however looking forward to giving Poppie, & Grandma Aggie, along with Papa & Gran your ultra sound pictures for fathers day! How exciting will that be. Just in case you don't know I will take your picture like I am the paparazzi and you are Lady Gaga or Johnny Depp! You will have to get use to this like your Daddy has. I can 99.9 percent 

Love you!