Thursday, January 30, 2014

Mellisa's story, Part two of the series.

When we all go through life everyone faces hard times. We all make choices and one choice can make ripples in the pool of your life. Here is the second in my series of blog posts of women that suffered with Addiction. Crawling through the fire and rising from the ashes.  

I decided to do this series to show other mom’s and women out there that no matter how hard life is, it can be better. That you are never alone and that no matter how hard it is, it is never to late for you to start over. You might have a few set backs but everyday you get up and try again and again. This is your life, not a dress rehearsal. God will get you clean, and get you better. 

We will be talking to, Melissa.  Melissa decided to pull her life back together after years of addiction. As a Mom she knew that she needed to change, in doing so she had to face major life changes.  This story breaks my heart. As a mother I couldn’t even imagine the heart break Melissa must have felt.  

I’m a thirty four year old mother of five. My life has not always been bad, from my teenage years till about three years ago it was like I was living in hell.  I know that I have  struggled with addiction for most of my life. I  come from a family that is full of alcoholics, many are junkies. This was just part of what I grew up with.  Living in a home with two alcoholics was a major influence in what I thought was okay. What I thought was normal.  My drug of choice was always meth, I started my addiction loosely with  alcohol being at a young age when I started, it was easy to get. Especially when my mom or step dad didn’t notice.  Here is the truth though. I would take or do whatever was available.  It didn’t matter what it was, if it would get me to feel numb and like nothing else mattered in the world then that is the drug for me. 
There really wasn’t a reason that I started rebelling at a young age. Never  no rhyme or reason I just did. By the time I was in the eighth grade I quit school, I don’t know why I was even allowed to quit school. I ended up in Juvenile detention, better yet known as Juvie. I was their for a while. While I was there I had a very structured and regimented lifestyle, responsible for daily cleaning duties as necessary. no television or radio amenities within the pods that we lived in. The food was so horrible I can still remember the taste like it was yesterday.  The uniforms that they put you in are starched so much that when you take them off, they stand up by themselves.  I was there a total of three times and one of the times I tried to escape. I had become friends with a few of the girls and then we made a plan. We beat the officer down and got her keys, leaving. It didn’t take long for them to catch up with me. Sadly this is the way I made it on the cover of the Bremerton sun. 
The other girls were mean and in their for far worse things then being a run away.  When I got out it didn’t take long for me to figure out that I didn’t want the calm quiet life of little Bainbridge Island any more, I wanted bright lights of the big city. I felt like a captive looking out over the dancing lights on Puget Sound of the Seattle city skyline. Its there that I felt like I would fit in and belong.  So off to Seattle  to live with a man that I had met that was so much older then me. It was as if this older man knew that I was young, impressionable and starved for love and attention. He knew I needed a place to go and I thought that I would find safety and love from him.  
Within a few months, the older man became the father of my first baby and then a year later the second baby came along. Here I was a baby myself and was going to have two babies that were only twelve months and three weeks apart. I felt like I didn’t really have anything else to do but get married to him. Here I was at seventeen married with two babies. I left him shortly after that because nothing made us get along. It wasn’t something I thought that the babies should be going through. He being so much older then I was it started to show just how little that we had in common. 
During the Divorce I then moved back home to the quietness of beautiful Bainbridge. Thinking this would be a great place in the country for me to raise my babies. Shortly after moving back I  hooked up with a guy who was quite the catch when we had been in school. Feeling like I was on top of the world and that this was picture perfect. We were around the same age, knew the same people, from the same little town. We knew what growing up on Bainbridge was like. We were the it couple for a while, feeling kind like the high school prom queen and king, He had been really heavy into the drugs, not that I hadn’t tried most of them but it is crazy just how  heavy into using the drugs he really was.  My life started to go down hill, there was tons of fights but just as crazy the fights were our love for each other was passionate, hot and never dull. Until we got together shortly into the relationship we were weekend warriors until I turned twenty one.  That is when I started bar-tending and the alcohol and drugs became a daily thing to do. With my then boyfriend, using as much as he was,  lost his job. We has a bright idea that selling would be a great idea. Needless to say that idea was terrible, it just made the drugs take our lives over. 
After a couple of years I was making more selling the drugs then I was making bar tending so I quit working, making a living selling meth and pot.  I could get you whatever you needed and whenever you needed it. I was on top for a while.  In 2004 I got pregnant with my third baby but my addiction was really bad I couldn’t quit and I didn’t quit. I smoked meth up until the day I gave birth. To this day this is one of the hardest things that I have to  deal with. I know that these choices will haunt me for the rest of my life. I still was able to bring her home from the hospital.  I continued with my addiction and selling the drugs still. I never thought of quitting either.   We were home for about four months when they raided my house and took my kids. I had just lost everything. I ended up going to prison I did sixteen  months on a DOSA sentence. You would have thought that was enough to change my life around, sadly it wasn’t.  When I was released, I was using before even leaving the parking lot of Purdy. ( Women’s prison.) 
At this point in my life I felt like I had nothing, everything had been taken from me.  I had nothing to loose so my addiction went to needles. I became an IV user and I completely destroyed everything including myself. I lost my two oldest as they went to live with there father.  While I was in prison my mom watched my children the entire time.  I lost my third baby, that I had used with because of my choices and actions she was adopted out.  I have not seen her since she was two now she is almost nine years old now. By the grace of God she was also born healthy with no mental or physical issues at all. I call her my miracle child, I miss Mary every second of every single day. 
Then after a year of using I was busted again, I was looking at prison time and I was lucky enough to do the Drug Court program, that program saved my life. I thought at first i would fake it until I made it, I was gonna use again but six months into the eighteen month program my life changed.  I never wanted to do meth again, how ever I never really drank even though I had heard about cross addiction i didn’t think it was gonna be part of my story yet here i am telling it. I thought I could drink like a normal person so i graduated from the Drug Court program and started drinking more and more.  My boyfriend and I broke up after almost 12 years because he wanted to use meth again and i just couldn’t go there again. Now at this point I had my two oldest back in my life and had a fourth child with my boyfriend and this was a way to kinda fill the loss and void of the one I lost. I lived on my families property in my own house and thought life was fine but my drinking getting out of control. 
Then I was told that I had a large brain tumor and had to go in for brain surgery which they were not sure if i was gonna make it so riddled with fear my drinking got even worse. I had surgery and pulled thru it. Even after that I kept drinking A LOT finally on November 19th 2011, I woke up early hung over knowing that I couldn’t go on like this anymore.  Taking my second chance with my babies I realized that I was not a mother.  I was a drunk bar slut that was nothing.  After all my fight to remain here I was still killing my self and showing my kids the wrong way to live. That morning I  went to a meeting, after that first meeting I went every day after that for the first few months.  
I Detoxed myself at home which was a painful process. I started to clean up my life. I sold my acre on the Island and moved away and bought a home in Illahee. I continue with my sobriety, with knowing that God does still love me today. I can feel it! What a great feeling it is. I have my kids except for my Mary. and my son because he turned eighteen, he now has ventured into the world. 
I was blessed to meet a man that knows where I have been and how far I have come, along with the decision  to remain sober everyday. He came from the same destruction and today we have a beautiful baby boy together. Today I can lead by example and I owe everything to God and would never change it for anything.  I still attend a lot of meetings. I am now leading by example for my children and some day I hope I can meet my other daughter and she will forgive me for all the wrong I have done. When I look in the mirror every morning I now know that I am doing the best I have ever done. I not only owe my children this, and my husband, but most importantly I owe this to myself.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Wordless Wednesday....

Gary, Ind. woman admits selling baby for sex

Click on the link about the picture. SO you can read this for yourself.  I just have to ask What is the world coming to? How can a women. a mom, a human do this to their own? Or any child for that matter. I can't go into it because it makes me sick. Abuse especially sexual abuse is just to hard for me to to get into but I want to see what you think? What should happen to a mother that sells her baby for sex? In this case I think I believe in the death penalty. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Tempt My Tummy Tuesday!!

    Recipe for Mushroom Veggie soup. 

  • 6 tablespoon(s) unsalted butter
  • 2 large onions, chopped
  • 2 1/2 pound(s) assorted wild mushrooms, sliced, stems reserved
  • 10 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
  • 2 ribs celery, diced
  • 8 sprigs of fresh parsley
  • 1/2 cup(s) chopped fresh parsley
  • 1 head of Garlic
  • 1 (about 2 1/4 pounds) butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
  • 1 cup(s) light red wine, such as pinot noir
  • 2 teaspoon(s) salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon(s) coarse-ground pepper
  • 2 tablespoon(s) fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tbl spoon dill 
  • 1 tbl spoon basil
  • 2-4 drops of liquid smoke. 
  • 1 1/2 kale ( shredded) 

  1. Start by Roast the garlic: Heat oven to 400°F. Cut about 1 inch off the top of both heads of garlic, dot each with 1 tablespoon butter, wrap in foil, and roast until soft -- about 45 minutes; let cool and squeeze to release the roasted meat. Discard the skins and set meat aside.
  2. Then make the vegetable stock: Melt 1 tablespoon butter in large saucepan. Add half the onions and cook over low heat until caramelized -- about 25 minutes. Add the mushroom stems, half the carrots, and the celery and cook until soft -- about 10 minutes. Add 8 cups water, parsley sprigs, and bay leaf, increase heat to high, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes. Strain and discard the solids. Add enough water to bring stock to 6 cups. Set aside.
  3. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Cook the mushrooms in thirds, adding an additional 1 tablespoon butter with each batch, until golden -- about 3 minutes per batch. Add the remaining onion and cook until softened -- about 3 minutes. Add the squash and remaining carrots and cook for 2 minutes. Add the red wine, salt, pepper, roasted garlic, and reserved vegetable stock, stir to combine, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer until vegetables are tender -- about 25 minutes. If freezing, skip to Step 4. Stir in chopped parsley and lemon juice and serve immediately.
  4. Freeze the soup: Cool soup completely, transfer to an airtight container, and freeze for up to 3 months. To serve, thaw soup in the refrigerator. Place thawed soup in a large saucepan over medium-high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in chopped fresh parsley and lemon juice.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Three Ring Circus Thursday....

So today I feel like a shit-hole parent. Before I had the babies I thought this was going to be a walk in the park and that a twin was such a bonus. One of my best friends (that I never get to see anymore because of said twins) Steph, is a beautiful mommy of twins herself. 
I remember telling her that we were going to have a baby and that we were going to transfer two embryos! That I felt like I was a mom of twins already... She said in her sweet way (telling me I was bat shit crazy in a nice way.) was, "Well, they are hard work but so worth it! But, babe be careful what you wish for."  I was shocked and totally thought that she was being a debbie downer. 
Nope she was so so right! I love that girl so much!
Now my friends, I say the same thing. When I hear people say that  they wish that they could have twins or more I am like "girl, be careful what you wish for. I thought it was gonna be easy and its the hardest shit I have ever done."  
Life has been a crazy whirl wind and my little guys make it full of laughs (and tears.) Like today we were going to go to a playdate.... I just can't muster up the strength in going to playdates like I did before. Getting two, two year olds to be ready to go anywhere is a nightmare, feed, dress, change them, chase them around and then do it all over again because as soon as I am almost ready to load them up, one of them has crapped their pants and we have to strip him back down, change him, re dress him and then we are out the door. I swear I feel like I am running a three ring circus.. just to get them outside in the stroller or mini van. 
Did I mention that both boys, (especially Brock) looses his shit every single time he has to go in my van.  I just look at him and every time he starts to get upset I say. " Dude, I so wish that I was driving a 2014 Land Rover but instead I am driving a broke down 1999 Chrysler Mini van....With more dents then the streets of Tacoma?!" with my big brown eye roll! 
I can't wait till their teenagers and they have to drive this mini van. I am totally tempted to make us keep it and give this to them on their 16th birthday! 
I would be the worlds meanest mom! Hummmm maybe I should keep the van forever and really embarrass them on special occasions that they want to be so bad ass in front of their buddies or girls that they are dating.... When we find the girls that don't care they are driving the hoop-di- then those are the girls that are the keepers! 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Brandi's story. Part one of my addiction series.

This story completely breaks my heart, but it also gives me a new way to look at a person who has struggled with addiction. In such a different light, In my series of talking about addiction & viewing both sides and the outcome.. This makes me know that an amazing women this person is and hopefully you will be able to know that it takes so much strength and the love of God to get you through this.  Here is the story of Brandi, Brandi’s story starts with her childhood. 

My childhood was not a great picture. We were far from the Brady Bunch or the Cosby show, as far back as I can remember we were very poor, to be honest we were actually dirt poor growing up. We didn't have much at all, to the point that in the first grade I had one outfit.  Every night my mom would make sure she washed it.  More times then not we would be so broke that we ate out of Albertson garbage cans in the back of the grocery store. Growing up this was normal for me, this was my reality. it was my truth.
 My mother couldn't take it so she divorced my dad and got a job, After that my dad left to go to California I ended up moving with him. That's when my life went down hill. My dad ended up molesting me. Even when I tried to stand up to him he didn’t change it continued.  After a long period of time, the first chance I got I went back to my moms, but because of the shame I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.  So here we went from poor to upper middle class with a beautiful home that my mom work so hard to own. & then she worked even harder for her to end up owning her own restaurant but her being gone turned my life to even a bigger nightmare of nightly terror and abuse, thinking that it would never get worse then having what happened with my dad, but it did.

I was scared to go home everyday. I didn't know about alcohol back than but my step dad was a full blown alcoholic and made us his punching bags every night. I needed a way to get out so I started babysitting to make my own money. At first it was a great job and I enjoyed it so much. After a while the husband & and father of the children I was babysitting began to molest me I told my mom and she told his wife. Making it into a huge mess he made me feel so gross. My ideas of men had been completely messed up at this point and anyone I trusted hurt me, physically, sexually, and mentally. I was a little girl and there was no one to protect me. 
Then back at home things just got worse when my mom finally had enough she finally left my step dad, another start over.  When I turned sixteen we moved out of state to a sunny happier place. Finally I thought that now it would just be me being protected and safe and maybe the start for me to heal. We lived with my aunt and it was here where I first tried cocaine. Then at the age of seventeen I was addicted to the gate way drug of marijuana. Not thinking that was a big deal and to that point I was never a big drinker either. I always worked and I was so responsible.  
Let me jump ahead When I was twenty years old I met a man, we started dating and that is when I found out I was pregnant and scared and thought it just wasn’t a good time to have a baby and so I decided to put the baby up for adoption. When I delivered him and our eyes locked for the first time there was just no way. Seeing my son for the very first time I had ever felt love at first sight. I was with his father, not wanting to raise my son in a broken family, I felt like I needed to try and so the nightmare begins…..
My husband was cheating on me with every strange women that he could find, then using me as a punching bag, it just escalated when he found out that  I was pregnant again. I tried to leave but really not hard enough.. I know that every little girl dreams of their wedding day. I had been planing mine in my head from the very first time that I watched their first Disney movie.  Well when I walked down the isle I was crying but not because I was happy, but because the night before he smashed my head in the car window. I knew that I was living in this nightmare but I felt like I had to just try.  
Here I am working two jobs with these two beautiful babies with an abusive cheating husband and here I was pregnant again it was a something I was so excited for a little baby girl, awaiting her birth. Then on my son’s third birthday as I was about five months pregnant getting everything ready for the party, my husband decided to get food when I had so much food right there. I knew what was gonna happen and I wasn’t having it. I had the neighbors watch the kids and a friend take me to my car I open his cousins door there he was with a old girlfriend. I just asked for my keys and walked outside before I knew it him and his cousin were beating my head into the concrete, they were kicking me all over my body. The person that ended up saving me was his ex-girlfriend. I had a miscarriage and lost my baby girl I had so looked forward to having.  He didn't care, I called the cops but no one would tell on him so it was my word against his.  Yet even after this heartache and loss I stayed with him.
 Fast forward to a few years ahead I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I was so very sick that I would end up in the hospital week's at at a time.  My husband never came and saw me, again and like always he was busy cheating. The last time that I called him to pick me up he said that I was not allowed to come home. So here I am sick,  I have no home and to pour salt into the wound he moved another girl in, his own cousin! 

I found a place to stay, got a job I was really doing ok, but we ended up back together it was the same but he held my kids hostage against me. Telling me that if I didn't get back together with him then I couldn't see my babies  again . So I did get back with him. I look back at it now and feel like I was Just so stupid, anything was worth going through to have my boys in my life everyday. At the time we were living in Florida. So I had no one only him that I knew. This is what he wanted all along, for me to be isolated and alone. Keeping me in my house like I was in prison. 
This was around the time that I discovered Oxycodone, taking the pills I finally  didn't have to feel anything at all anymore. I was numb to the memories of my past, the loss of my baby girl, the fighting, the cheating, now for the first time all the abuse could be forgotten. I finally found a way to make it all stop. At the time, I am not going to lie, it felt good. 
Over the period that I had cancer, I had undergone several surgeries and over the years  they were filled with chemo, radiation, and even more drugs. When the day came that I went into remission, it was the time that getting the drugs as if they were tick tacks suddenly came to a screeching halt! I don’t think that the Doctors realize that you will survive it so they give you all these meds without thinking what it will do to you when you are cancer free. 
Now we moved back to California from Florida where I began to to run to the drugs. There was a lot of guilt and depression, I was always thinking everything was and had been all 
        my fault, but it just got worse that is when I graduated from the oxy to crystal meth & then to full use of heroin .  
It was no surprise that the abuse got worse. He came to me one night as high as could be. Choosing this time to get honest with me.  He was all messed up on crack and heroin and said “You know you like to fuck and get fucked by my friends.” The confusion swiftly lifted from me and I was like wait? What are you talking about? Like a flash of my life before my eyes it came rushing over me I was flooded with the memories I has forgotten all about it wasn't until this very second I remembered.  I guess that this is what happens when your body and mind can’t take the abuse anymore. It just takes it and hides it away for you to remember when you are stronger.  My mind just happened to let me know when it wanted. I sure as hell wasn’t stronger at this point in my life and I felt like I was Alice falling down the rabbit hole.
How could I forget what happened to me? About a year before, I not only was drugged and raped, and beaten so bad that I ended up having to spend over  two very long weeks in the hospital with 78 stitches, in my private area, the first thing I remember is all the blood in the hotel room and going in and out of Consciousness, It was brutal. I was lucky to have even survived the attack. I sat there listening to my husband talk about the attack and then he said something that rocked me to my core and knocked me down emotionally more then anything else had ever done.
My husband knew who did this to me who ruined me. My husband had this done to me. He had set up the entire thing. Wanting this done to me so that he could have the  label of me being a whore and a cheater.  In his mind rape, sex, whatever it was someone inside me, so it was me cheating, we could be even and on a level playing field.  He had these men do this to me and sat and watched. Having me beat to inches of my life.  What did I do to deserve this? I had been a little rag doll for men to do whatever they wanted. From my father to my husband. The two men in my life that were suppose to protect me and keep me safe.   After finding this out and unblocking the memories,  I was never the same how could I block it? I needed to erase it from my mind. My husband set it up so that I was raped. So I would feel used, ashamed and dirty. That because I never had cheated on him he would make it so I felt like I did.  He didn’t want me to be the one that was morally correct and still believed in the vows I said on our wedding day. 
    So From that July to January 11th 2012, we lived from hotel to hotel I would lock myself in the bathroom smoking crystal and doing heroin then my husband would continue to beat me up I felt like I was nothing, my role on this Earth was to just  be raped, beaten and tortured. The last time he did that he said he has met someone else, spitting  on me, calling me all sorts of names while he walked out with my older son in tow, he left me,  but my younger would not leave my side so four months went by of us sleeping in our car, and just like I did when I was younger when my parents weren’t taking care of me, I was having my baby eating garbage out of dumpsters. I was on the streets begging for money, living on the streets. If we were able to get lucky we could get a hotel for a night. 
Then on May 5th we had a hotel but we had no money food, no money at all and to make it even worse all our stuff was stolen all we had was the clothes on our backs! I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to do something fast for us so that night I went and stole hundreds of half empty bottles of morphine from a cancer center, this way I could go sell the drugs for food, so that my baby boy could eat.… But Instead I spent hours in the bathroom shooting up the drugs, there was blood everywhere some how I had a brief moment of clarity looked at my son and just started to bawl.  I picked up the phone and called my mom to come get him and she said she would only if I would get help. I said ok knowing I would never stop,  because I had a mission, and that mission was to die I had a plan. I had to get my son to a safe place where he was taken care of. I didn’t eat for three whole days, and neither did my son.  This is one of the hardest things to think back on now.  What kind of mom was I? I wasn't one my husband was for the first time ever, right. 
My mom dropped me off at a rehab when she left I left I met some other addicts that I had become “friends” with. I truly didn’t want to live, I didn't care what happened to me. In fact it was so bad that I actually lived in the sewers, yes in the sewers! Shooting up heroin and hoping not to wake up the next time I fell asleep. I ended up meeting with an older man that said he would get me free heroin all that I wanted, all I had to go with him to Mexico.  So off to Tijuana I went with a man I didn’t even know. What did I care? I had a plan. To die. 
 I didn't care what happened to me and all I cared about was to end my life and get the heroin. So what endued up happening was me becoming a prostitute for the cartels. I was raped by gun point but I was numb that I just didn't care. I was beaten & spit on. I didn't feel hot water on my body for over four months.  I would sleep on dirty mattresses with blood, bugs, dead animals, and flies so thick that I couldn’t see my hands, much less the needle I was shooting up with. Then I woke up on Sept 20th and something told me to GET UP!  that I had to GO! That I couldn’t die there. That my two wonderful boys, more importantly need me. I know now that this was the voice of God telling me to GET UP and GET BACK TO YOUR BABIES.  So I did what I thought I would never do…From now where I mustered up the strength I didn’t even know I had in me. I got up and went up to some man and asked him if he could give me some money….he gave me twenty pesos for a cab before thinking about getting drugs I jumped in the cab, where I went to the boarder.  When I got there I was stuck in secondary.
My mom made my husband file a missing person report after months of not hearing from me.  Here I am hand cuffed for well over five hours getting so sick that they finally let me go. When I did I crossed that boarder I collapsed in the middle of the street,  I just started bawling. I never thought I would see real streets again and fresh air.  I had no money, not two pennies to rub together.  

I was so hungry,  so sick from not doing all the drugs that I had been doing for such a long extended time, but this time I didn’t stop and get my fix, this time I got on the trolley and walked myself into the hospital smelling like the dirty streets and rough life I had just lived through in Tijuana. I was sticks and bones, so very skinny, dirty.  I got geared up the strength I didn't even know I still had and said “Please help me, I'm a heroin addict.” That I needed to get some help. 

so my journey truly began when I was in rehab for nine months. I got out on September, 23. 2013. I am new to begin clean. At this time in my life I don't have everything I want.  More importantly what I do have is my life, my own apartment, I get to wake up to my boys saying, “mom I'm hungry.” I have food to cook for them. I have money but I no longer use them for drugs. happily I now get to use them for the needs of my baby boys.  
          They tell me they are so proud of me every single day. 
Most importantly I have my sobriety. This is by far the best gift I have ever had.  I know what the honest truth is, I will never say that this is the end, nope because this is just the beginning of my real life.  I love life now and not having to worry about a man beating me or cheating on me, is truly a fgift from God. After all of this he wanted to stay together but I learned in the nine months in rehab that I was worth more, the pain in my past is and never was my fault. I can not wait until the divorce is finally finished.  It feels like the first time in my entire life where I feel safe. Like I am seeing in color instead of black and white.  I won't lie,  I will not be telling you that the shame and guilt is gone now.  I think in time it will be much less but I will live my life until my dying days feeling and remembering all the bad things I have done and have gone through,  I am a new person, this person I love. To love myself is a everyday struggle but I can tell you that I'm learning to forgive myself and that's enough for me. Miracles are possible. just look at me and you will know I'm one of them and so are you. God bless you. You can do this but you cannot do it alone…
Thank you Bradi for sharing your story. God loves you and so do I and so many other people do. You get to teach your boys now how to be strong and show them what it is to be a real man. They will have scars just like you but they will also be able to know what it is to rise from the ashes and be re born. I hope you know you are never alone.  God has brought you into our lives and saved you for a reason. He wanted you to tell your story so that a teenage girl could hear it, and know she isn’t her abuser.  A twenty year old Mom is sitting in a domestic violence situation with a husband that beats her and takes herself worth away, she can now know it could end up a lot worse and will start to put the pieces of the puzzle to leave. A women that has an addict  as a daughter will not give up hope but keep fighting and looking for a way to save her little girl.  A women selling herself on the streets of Mexico will see that she can fight for herself with just the ounce of strength she has because of you. 

Thank you for being my hero. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

What a sports writer could say that I couldn't. Even with my big Sherman Mouth! :)

Today is a big day in our house! The Seahawks have won and as a fan I have to say that it was a nail biter.  A game that I spent most of the time watching it. My babies, hub's and papa were all so excited for this game.  My sisters team is Denver and the last time I was super excited was when I was in Colorado Springs watching the super bowl with them

I know that there is so much debate over what Sherman said. I don't think he said anything wrong and I feel like he is able to pop off a little. They didn't even let him have a few minutes to just let it all sink in. I know I am a loud mouth and I think I would have done the same thing. 

Here is what he said:. So I know it might have been a little rude how he acted but lets just say none of us were on the field playing the entire game hearing jabs and remarks that might have been hurtful and rude as well. 

This is a great article from Forbes, written by Tommy Tomlinson, Contributor. 

1. So the Seahawks beat the 49ers to go to the Super Bowl, and Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman made the game-saving play, and Erin Andrews interviewed him on the field immediately after the game, and he hollered like a crazy person:

2. Within seconds people on social media were calling him a fool, a thug, a classless jerk and many worse things.

3. Sherman is black, and so of course there was an undercurrent of race to some — OK, a lot — of the discussion.

4. Sherman graduated second in his class in high school and also graduated from Stanford. So not only is he not a fool, odds are he’s smarter than you and me.

5. His degree from Stanford was in communications … which might explain why, while he seemed to be hollering like a crazy person, he didn’t curse and looked into the camera the whole time.

6. In other words, he might have just been auditioning for the WWE.

7. Maybe 15 minutes later, when Sherman sat down with the Fox NFL guys, he was calm and funny.

8. If you stick a microphone in a football player’s face seconds after he made a huge play to send his team to the Super Bowl, you shouldn’t be surprised if he’s a little amped up.

9. Ninety-nine percent of on-field interviews are boring and useless. The TV networks do them anyway for the 1 percent of the time they get a moment like Richard Sherman.

10. As a reporter and writer, that raw emotion — whatever form it takes — is exactly what I hope for. That’s why media people fight for access to locker rooms. After players and coaches cool off, most of them turn into Crash Davis, reading from the book of cliches.

11. But we — the media, and fans in general — don’t know what we want. We rip athletes for giving us boring quotes. But if they say what they actually feel, we rip them for spouting off or showing a lack of class.

12. It’s like we want them to be thinking, Well, that was a fine contest, and jolly good that we won. Which NO athlete is EVER thinking.

13. As a side note: Richard Sherman also called out Skip Bayless on Bayless’ own show, which trumps pretty much anything bad that Richard Sherman has done in his life.

14. So: Did you watch the game?

15. Did you see the two most physical teams in football beat each other half to death? Did you see all the brutal hits? Did you see all the players who couldn’t get up after the play? Did you see all those guys who had to be helped off the field?

16. Did you see NaVorro Bowman, the stud linebacker for the 49ers, wreck his knee when a Seattle player fell on it? I’m not sure how you could’ve missed it — Fox must have shown the replay 20 times.

17. (I understand that it was a big play — Bowman recovered a fumble at the goal line, although the refs called it the other way. It deserved another look. But still: Can’t you crop out Bowman’s crumpled knee, or put a black bar over it, or something? After one or two replays, isn’t it just injury porn?)

18. Anyway: That was the kind of game it was. Rough and angry and so violent that at times it was hard to watch.

19. This, of course, is part of the attraction of football. And part of the reason so many players leave the sport crippled and concussed.

20. Richard Sherman made the big play Sunday. His team is going to the Super Bowl.

21. More important, he survived the carnage.

22. It seems to me that the only proper response to surviving something like that is to holler like a crazy person.

I just wanted to say that I am truly thankful that with all this football drama I really am starting to like it. To catch on and to understand it. I will be embracing it, whole heartedly. If the day comes when one or both of my boys don't like sports I might sigh a little yes! & get them into dance or art classes, anything! 

But I doubt that will happen, they have been ALL boy, loving sports from the moment that they came out of the womb.  The love of sports are in their blood, from their baseball playing daddy, to their football and track star Grandpa, A swimmer on the other side. Our families love the love of a team.  Yes we all cry during Brian's song. :) 

As a Mommy, that is what being a mom is about, its about change and trying new things, loving new things and to me that is loving football and high five's all around with my three dudes & nothing is cuter then the little's saying SEA HAWKIES!! & Touch DOWN! 

Here is to the super bowl!!! Both teams are the two of my favorites... either way I will be happy and isn't that what team sports should be taught to our children? To be kind and to be fair and be a good winner and not a sore looser?.... 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Everyone has the fever!

                    Thank you Kitsap Sun for posting this awesome picture of the support in Kitsap! 

    All over Washington state, we are showing our 12th man pride! 
We love our hawks!
 we will be showing up with all of our 12th man flags to help support our team!
We will win on Sunday and I will post a video of the little's saying 

One of my best friends  is a big Hawks fan. 
When the day comes and she gets married 
I am sure she will wear 
the Seahawks High heals and Garter! 
I like the Seahawks, 
I love team spirit and I feel like we all need something
to get excited about. 
I will say that my love for the Hawks grew even more 
when I got to hear of all the great things our QB Russell Willson 
When I found out that Wilson will donate money to his foundation....
 For each touchdown – running or passing – scored by Wilson this season, Russell Investments will donate $2,000 to Wilson’s charitable foundation. Wilson’s foundation supports youth activities for communities in need. The actual charities that will benefit from the donations will be announced at the end of the season.
Wilson accounted for 30 touchdowns as rookie last season with 26 passing touchdowns and four rushing touchdowns, Now with him out doing his performance from last year,  this year, 
he’ll raise at least 
$60,000 toward his foundation.
He and his wife go to Children's hospital and visit sick kids weekly. 
Now this is the kind of role model I want for my boys. 
I want them to grow up and give the way this man does. 

So I might become the kind of fan that 
changes my middle name to Seahawk 
Paints my house to look like this! 
As long as we keep having players and a amazing couch 
my faith in this team 
will grow! 
Our motto in our home will always and forever be....

*I got photos using google search!*