Monday making progress.

Brock is making progress, slowly but surely, as he always has. We're hearing him speak sentences every so often. Sometimes, Hubs and I trick him into them. Like last night, Brock kept refusing to eat his dinner. Hubs said, "You better eat all your dinner." Then I said "Dinner, Dinner, Chicken winner dinner." it is my take of Luke Bryan's song and Brock and Franky are both huge country music fans. They have been sense their surrogate mom was carrying them. 
So Brock says in a matter a fact way. " My Dinner diner chicken dinner." after we made it into a game he forgot he was so upset before and started to eat his dinner by himself. 

"Hubs, did you hear that?" I asked.

"Wow!" he said.

"Brock!! That was an amazing sentence!" I said-squealed. Brock giggled, pleased with himself. It just made me realize that he is listening to every thing we are saying. The good and the bad. We have to make sure that we stay on this path of going to Speech therapy, every monday morning. Then all week we keep up the things that we learn on Mondays until the next Monday. 

Seeing or hearing Brock doing something new gives me a rush. This is both because it's a score, but also because I know the effort that went into it all the hard work, the tears—so there's so much more to savor when he does things that we are working on...For months, Brock has been working so hard on things with his words, picking up on colors and a few numbers, also stringing more words together. His first true spoken sentence a few weeks ago: He was at the table with Francis and my parents, I left the room to go up and get his and his brothers juice cups. "Hey Papa where is my mom go?." As is typical with his accomplishments, Brock didn't say another sentence again for awhile. That's been OK with us, because now we know he can. But, wow, what a feeling when he says a sentence. 

It's a whole other thrill when people tell me about things Brock is doing. It's like getting a surprise, especially appreciated during dry spells, when it doesn't seem like there's been much development. It's validating. Yeah, I know it, he is doing so much better then where everyone once thought he would be.          This week, I got several people telling me what they see him doing and improving with. 

"Today, we worked on improving his right hand strength and we had him start using the dot art putting the lid back on and then back off using two hands together," Brock's occupational therapist Amber text me. "He sat on a therapy swing in the gym unassisted and had to catch a large sensory ball using his two hands. After a few trials Brock did great. He was catching the ball unassisted while maintaining his balance. He then lifted the ball up over his head using two hands and tossed it back." Amber is very excited as well that he is doing so much more then she thought he would be at the start of his occupational therapy. 

The person who's given me the best perspective of all is my Dad. He has been Brock's lead cheerleader since day one. In Brock's early years, I often despaired about his development, to the point where some days it was hard to get out of bed. My Dad isn't one to make up stuff so you feel better, so when he came to visit and pointed out the progress, I took heart. I believed. Yes, Brock was retaining more food in his mouth when he ate. Yes, Brock was cruising around faster in his walker. Yes, he had so much determination. Yes, he was the world's cutest baby ever, next to his twin brother it is always a tie. 

I don't go to that dark place anymore like I use to, but Dad's observations still give me a high!

"What are you seeing that's new,? " I asked.

"He's putting two and two together—he is understanding so much more," he said. "And he's talking a lot."

It felt so good to hear.

It makes me not want to give up or loose hope.  It makes me feel for a few seconds at leasts that I am a good mom for even if it won't last for a long time maybe just a few minutes. I know that I love these to little guys with all my heart and hope that I am doing everything right or right enough by them.